As I'm sitting here watching it snow, wrapped in a soft, warm, leopard print robe, drinking my coffee, I wanted to spend some time in reflection. Today's coffee is with sugar free vanilla syrup and sugar free cream. Some days I drink it black but today, a little added sweetness and cream seemed like a good idea. I'm supposed to be at the gym getting in today's upper body, abs and cardio workout, but it looks like the snow is winning so God is telling me to take a rest day. In the last few weeks I've been spending a lot of time in self-reflection fighting the feelings of failure. I've spent time in prayer, daily Bible reading and any book I can get my hands on. I started a fourth book yesterday again finding voices of hope and healing when I feel like I'm in the midst of failure. I've made an appointment to meet with my pastor and am hoping to just get myself back on track and maybe, maybe, start to like myself a little bit.
I titled this post "faithful" because one thing I have reminded of over and over again during this time of reflection is that God is faithful. Come to him in prayer and he will provide. It's not a "genie" prayer but a pouring out of my heart and telling him what I want but then asking for His will to be done. Maybe what I want isn't what I need and I have to be open to hearing what He is telling me and following His path for my purpose.
When I've started to take my own actions in an area I've prayed about I've been stopping myself and reminding myself that God is faithful. He will move when it's time to move on my prayers and I need to not worry. He will be faithful. I can think of two specific examples from the past two weeks where I've prayed for His intervention and in both situations, He provided. It's moments like that where I need to draw upon when I begin to slide back to trying to do things on my own. He is in charge of my life and He will take action where needed.
All I need to remember is God is faithful, come what may.
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