We live in a world that is driven by data and trends. Looking for value and answers in the numbers and trying to figure out how to better our lives, our business, our goal based on those numbers. As I've been working more on my running and keeping track on the app on my phone my distances, my speeds, my number of weekly workouts and trying to week over week beat those numbers I realized something this week. This week I still did my workouts, but I was in a different environment. I still did the same number of miles, but the course I was doing them on was much more challenging. My goals had to adjust to the path that I was working on. I was more satisfied with my accomplishments when I was finished because the course had been so much more challenging. But I was let down by looking at the tracked numbers in my app because my times were slower and it was "messing up" my week over week numbers. For someone from the outside to simply look at the numbers and judge it would be easy to say that I'm "moving in the wrong direction." But for myself who was living in the moment, seeing the challenges in front of me and surpassing them, it was a success and move in the right direction to make me stronger overall. All too often we get caught up in the numbers and judged by the numbers because as more data becomes available to people and more people looking at numbers they don't know the reality behind it's easy to become discouraged and be told that we are failing. At work this week I was speaking with my management team and talking about our numbers and our goals and feedback I had received that I'm not holding them accountable to the expectations of what others feel they should be producing. One of my managers said to me that it's not that I'm not holding them accountable, I've set the expectations and we are reviewing and working towards those goals but that I'm a realist in understanding the true meaning behind the numbers and setting realistic goals. At the time I knew what she meant but when I was running this weekend and working my way up a very challenging hill the words and idea really hit home. We are each running our own race toward God and sometimes we will be faster and sometimes we will be slower but if we maintain the course and keep pushing forward we will be successful.
As I'm sitting here watching it snow, wrapped in a soft, warm, leopard print robe, drinking my coffee, I wanted to spend some time in reflection. Today's coffee is with sugar free vanilla syrup and sugar free cream. Some days I drink it black but today, a little added sweetness and cream seemed like a good idea. I'm supposed to be at the gym getting in today's upper body, abs and cardio workout, but it looks like the snow is winning so God is telling me to take a rest day. In the last few weeks I've been spending a lot of time in self-reflection fighting the feelings of failure. I've spent time in prayer, daily Bible reading and any book I can get my hands on. I started a fourth book yesterday again finding voices of hope and healing when I feel like I'm in the midst of failure. I've made an appointment to meet with my pastor and am hoping to just get myself back on track and maybe, maybe, start to like myself a little bit. I titled this p...
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