Do What You Love, Love What You Do

 As I'm sitting here watching it snow, wrapped in a soft, warm, leopard print robe, drinking my coffee, I wanted to spend some time in reflection.  Today's coffee is with sugar free vanilla syrup and sugar free cream.  Some days I drink it black but today, a little added sweetness and cream seemed like a good idea.  I'm supposed to be at the gym getting in today's upper body, abs and cardio workout, but it looks like the snow is winning so God is telling me to take a rest day.  In the last few weeks I've been spending a lot of time in self-reflection fighting the feelings of failure.  I've spent time in prayer, daily Bible reading and any book I can get my hands on.  I started a fourth book yesterday again finding voices of hope and healing when I feel like I'm in the midst of failure.  I've made an appointment to meet with my pastor and am hoping to just get myself back on track and maybe, maybe, start to like myself a little bit. I titled this p...

 I've been told it's okay to not be okay.  While I believe that to be a true statement I fight daily to make everything in my life look like it's okay.  As this week comes to a close I have been significantly reminded of so many of my failings.  I've failed at many things in my life and with each additional failure I'm reminded of so many character flaws that create a repeated pattern in my life.  My insecurities constantly take over and my unwillingness to say "no" or be confrontational hurts my family, my friendships, and my career. Reflecting upon this week it began as a normal week.  Frustrations over not working out enough at the gym and looking in the mirror to see how my lack of training has taken a negative toll on my body.  My stomach is fat, my face is fat, my arms are flabby.  I'm embarrassed to even walk through the gym in this condition. Feeling insecure in the way I look and blaming my eating habits and telling myself how lazy I am f...